A line-by-line analysis of “Rich Men North of Richmond”

In which I search for answers to questions like “What did fudge rounds ever do to Oliver Anthony?” and “OK, so where exactly north of Richmond are we talking? Fredericksburg? Reston?”

Top notes:

This is one of those bonus “80% nonsense” posts, because whenever a viral reactionary country song is dominating the discourse, Gotham’s newsletter commissioner shines theWhite Pages signal and I jump into action.

I’ve been a really softie this summer on keeping these nonsense posts (which I sometimes save for paid subscribers) unpaywalled. There’s not a ton of rhyme or reason behind that decision, it’s just my vibe right now. Hot Free Newsletter Summer, I guess. That’s to say, if you do enjoy this piece and feel moved to support this work, it means the world to me. I can only keep The White Pages running if I can pay for child care (an equation that has worked so far because the paid subscriber crew has been incredible, thank you all!).

I know I always make a pitch for paid subscriptions, but please also know that if that’s not something you can afford, I’m still very grateful that you’re here. Thanks for being great, all of you.

Have you heard? 2023 has officially been the summer of the reactionary country music bro. What a true “the heroes we deserve, not the heroes we want” situation for us.

It started, of course, with my close personal friend Jason Aldean and his Not So Merry Band of severely-constipated-looking backup musicians. Remember those guys? They were the ones who invited you to try a number of activities in a small town. (“Wait, do you want me to spit on a cop or not? Because you say that I should try it, but then you keep mentioning your guns. I just want to get on the same page here, Mr. Aldean Sir.”).

Unfortunately for those of us still awaiting answers as to what we can or can’t try in a small town (is pickle-ball cool, Jason? WHAT ABOUT ANTIQUING??), there is a new reactionary bro sheriff in town, and this guy has a big red beard.

If you haven’t heard, the biggest viral hit in America is “Rich Men North of Richmond.” It was written and performed by a previously unknown Virginia singer songwriter named Oliver Anthony (an absolute first ballot hall of fame “two first names guy” if ever there was one). “Rich men” is a phenomenon, my friends! It is beloved by everybody from conservative media personalities to Gucci Mane to… well, other conservative commentators. Here’s what Matt Walsh (one of our country’s pre-eminent “guys you don’t want to be stuck talking to at a party unless you want to hear about how we should do eugenics against non-dads”) had to say about Anthony’s appeal:

An aside: This is a vast world. Somewhere, there must be an extremely pretentious teen hardcore band whose debut album is called “Suffocated By Artificiality,” right?

Because this is how things go, there have already been more than a few smarty pants pieces from the left about how Anthony, who conservatives think is good, is in fact bad. I generally agree with those essays. They are the kind of pieces that, on most weeks, I would have published myself. I too am a lefty smarty pants who writes on the Internet. Also, though I originally didn’t have anything against Mr. Anthony, it has come to light that in addition to loving old timey country music, he also has a curated YouTube playlist called “videos to make your noggin grow bigger” that includes a couple “noggin growing” classics that are, well, anti-Semitic. It’s like the old saying goes, he’s just “a guy in the woods pouring his heart over his guitar and then going inside and watching anti-Jewish conspiracies on his computer.”

I say all this to establish that I am not an objective analyst of Mr. Anthony’s music. Based on what I already know about him (to say nothing of his vocal super fans), I’m predisposed to take a dim view of his whole deal. But this is the most popular song in the United States, and it isn’t particularly long, so the least I can do is to give it a real chance, line by line.

Before I begin, I’d like to comment briefly on Oliver Anthony’s “raw and authentic” aesthetic. It is true that his video appears to be shot in the actual woods, adjacent to what I assume is an actual and not prop deer blind, and furthermore that Anthony is accompanied by three authentically lethargic dogs (who I trust aren’t dudes in very realistic dog costumes). Now, does the presence of a professional mic stand and multiple camera set ups in the woods give a certain “oh I’m sorry, I didn’t see you there, I was too busy writing in my journal about the plight of the working man” vibes? Yes, but I don’t live in Oliver Anthony’s back yard. Who am I to say that a mic stand isn’t a native species in rural Virginia?

Listen, I could use this as an extended opportunity to unpack the idea of “authenticity” as a synonym for “a cis straight White dude in a t-shirt or a hoodie” but I already promised this wouldn’t be a smarty pants piece. Instead, I’ll just offer this empathetic message to everybody reading who is not a cis straight White man in a t-shirt or a hoodie: My condolences on your inauthenticity. Have you considered buying a hard hat? Or spending more time in the vicinity of a deer blind? Or better yet, being a straight cis White man? I’m just trying to help here.

Now that we have that out of the way, it’s lyrics time! Let’s take this line by line:

I've been sellin' my soul, workin' all day / Overtime hours for bullshit pay / So I can sit out here and waste my life away / Drag back home and drown my troubles away.

I have no notes here. This is a very strong opening. It makes sense that a song that leads with this line has resonated with a lot of people. I hope that Oliver Anthony joins a union, because it very much sounds like he is being exploited by his boss, and also collective action might help give his life a little more meaning.

It's a damn shame what the world's gotten to / For people like me and people like you / Wish I could just wake up and it not be true / But it is, oh, it is.

Here’s where, if I were Mr. Anthony’s editor, I might get out my red pen and ask a question in the margins. “When you say people like me and people like you, who do you mean? Who isn’t included in those categories?” I wouldn’t be asking accusingly. Those just seem like important things to clarify before we go further down this road.

Livin' in the new world / With an old soul

Can I be real with you all? I am a middle aged man and have therefore heard the term “old soul” a million times, and I still don’t know what it is supposed to insinuate. Is it a term of endearment for a ten year old who really likes Werthers Originals and Matlock? The justification your friend gives when they’re dating somebody twenty years younger than them? A euphemism for a dude who owns way too much Confederate memorabilia? I might be fine with this concept or I might not! Again, I just need more clarification!

These rich men north of Richmond

Ok, ok, ok. Can we talk about this line? It’s obviously one that Mr. Anthony thinks is quite clever. He made it the title to his song! And I get the little sly joke here. “Rich men” sounds like “Richmond” and there are a lot of populist punching bag municipalities somewhere north of that city (Washington D.C., obviously, but also New York). But here’s the problem! That’s not how anybody talks! When was the last time you’ve overheard this conversation?

*The scene: A couple is out to dinner on their first date*

Person A: “Where’d you grow up?”

Person B: “Oh, you know, north of Richmond.”

Person A: “So, like a suburb of Richmond?”

Person B: “No, New Haven, CT”

Person A: “Why didn’t you just say New Haven, CT?”

Person B: “Hey, want to watch some anti-Semitic YouTube videos?”

Lord knows they all just wanna have total control / Wanna know what you think, wanna know what you do / And they don't think you know, but I know that you do.”

“Again, Mr. Anthony,” I scrawl in the margins, this time with an underline or two, “your listeners need more clarity on who the ‘they’ are here! How you define that group will have very large implications on your song’s meaning, particularly since your only geographic qualifier is ‘maybe somewhere on the Amtrak Northeast Corridor.’ Thanks in advance for clearing that up!”

'Cause your dollar ain't shit and it's taxed to no end / 'Cause of rich men north of Richmond.

Ok, I’m coming back around again. Inflation is awful. And also, I totally understand what Joe Biden is doing with this whole “the economy is actually great now and inflation is trending down” road show, but the thing about inflation is the prices already increased and we’re living that reality every time we buy milk. And yes, because I’m a smarty pants lefty, it is my job to say that inflation went up because of corporate greed and not a nefarious government plot, which is why qualifying which “rich men” are being targeted in the song might be helpful! But I’ve already told Oliver Anthony that! In the margins!

Darn it, I’m not done yet. Here’s a quick word about taxes. Personally, I love them, because I used to live in a functional social democracy (not in this country, in one of those countries that is really good at ice hockey) and I miss it sincerely (I especially liked the part of it where fewer people died preventable deaths attributable to poverty!). But I do emphasize with the experience of living in a non-functional welfare state, where because the government has been whittled down to the bone (except for the military!) you notice all the money leaving your paycheck but you don’t experience much in return. That is legitimately infuriating. Are we on the same page now, Oliver Anthony? We’re good, right? We’re not going to do any Reagan era “welfare queen” scapegoating? Right? Right?

I wish politicians would look out for miners / And not just minors on an island somewhere

This is the part of the song where I learn that Oliver Anthony probably spends a lot of time on the Internet, including (presumably) the parts of the Internet that I tend to avoid. To each their own, I guess. I’ve spent an outsized portion of this past week thinking about performances of Whiteness, femininity and class in SEC fraternities and sororities, so we’ve all got our hobbies. Let’s move forward. Roll Tide.

Lord, we got folks in the street, ain't got nothin' to eat

Preach, Oliver Anthony! I couldn’t agree more!

And the obese milkin' welfare.

Ahhhh, so this is what got all those left-y think piece writers riled up! And they’re right. This line is in fact mean and fatphobic and an example of “punching down.” It’s also unnecessary! Ok, back to the red pen and the notes in the margin. My handwriting is noticeably shakier now. “Oliver, you’re trying to write an empathetic, ‘I see you’ song. Do you see how wanton acts of cruelty undermine your point?”

On top of all that, I’m honestly trying to follow the logic here. Is the song arguing that the homeless on the street (none of whom are fat, presumably) should get welfare, but that fat people shouldn’t? And this is something the government should enforce? And that somehow sending federal agents out across the country to police people’s weight will save us money and make people be like “ah yes, this very much feels like freedom from government intrusion into my life!” You all, I hate to say this, but I’m worried that Oliver Anthony might not be as brilliant of a public policy visionary as we’ve been promised.

Well, God, if you're 5-foot-3 and you're 300 pounds / Taxes ought not to pay for your bags of fudge rounds

Yuck! That’s even meaner and more unnecessary than the last line! And Oliver Anthony knows that, I’m sure. That’s part of the magic trick of the song. “Ha ha ha libs couldn’t take it when we made a couple of fat jokes… are you all triggered?”

And yeah, actually. That does make me upset. I tend to think that cruel statements that reinforce biases and societal hierarchies are a real bummer.

But aside from all that, I want to talk about this whole “taxes ought not to pay for your bag of fudge rounds” business.

YES. THEY. SHOULD!

Fudge rounds rule. They’re so good. So too are the oatmeal versions. In my socialist paradise, the government would ABSOLUTELY pay for all of our fudge rounds, because one of the principles of that government would be that life is hard and we all deserve fun treats. While we’re on the topic, here are some other things that I hope that ideal government would invest in:

1. Playgrounds with splash pads!

2. Free popsicles and water ices at those splash pads!

3. Movies in the park!

4. Movies indoors when it is too hot or cold to do movies in the park!

5. Grants for artists to write books and paint murals and yes, sing country songs next to deer blinds!

6. Nachos, just generally. But only if the official Department of Nachos really knew what it was doing with cheese distribution. In my socialist paradise there would be no un-cheesed chips!

And no, we wouldn’t means test any of that stuff (not for income and, ugh why do I even need to say this… definitely not for body size!).

Young men are puttin' themselves six feet in the ground

“Oliver! This is too much whiplash! Here’s another place where you and I definitely agree. The suicide epidemic— which impacts a number of groups, including young cis men— is a public health emergency. I would love to have a conversation about why that might be and what it has to do with patriarchy and the ways boys and men are socialized and inadequate mental health infrastructure and too many easily attainable guns. I think we’re both really fired up about this!

Now that we found some agreement, you do notice a trend, right? There are some people you think are deserving of empathy and some that you think aren’t? What’s going on there?”

Cause all this damn country does is keep on kickin' them down.

This is not the conversation about root causes I was hoping to have!!!

Repeat Pre-Chorus

Oh we’re doing that again? The part about “the people like me and the people like you?” Ok, whatever. Let me know if he’s responded to my notes in the margins yet.

Repeat chorus

“WHAT PLACE NORTH OF RICHMOND SPECIFICALLY! AND WHICH RICH MEN! I THINK WE SHOULD CLEAR THIS UP? Ok, ok, ok. I’m sorry for all caps. Let’s just finish this out. I like your guitar. It looks cool and it has a nice tone. You have a good voice. I wonder if maybe you should spend less time on the internet. It’s a weird place, man. Seriously. Again, about that union. Let’s start there. And also, if you haven’t had a fudge round recently, treat yourself! Eating one might make you nostalgic for childhood, and then you’ll remember that the arbitrary enemies you’re targeting were also once children and maybe that will help you dial back the parts of your shtick that are unnecessarily mean.”

Unfortunately, I don’t think Oliver Anthony is going to hire me to be his editor. But at least he’s off to a better start than Jason Aldean. I can tell that he’s got a big heart. My wish for him is that he doesn’t close that big heart off to people who don’t look like, think like or vote like him. To build off of a phrase I’ve been hearing a lot lately, you know who benefits when instead of being expansive in our love for others, we just tow a tired, faux-populist, reactionary line? A bunch of rich men, including but not limited to the ones north of Richmond.

End notes

Bonus song of the week.

I need a palette cleanser. And I’m not even going to do that thing where I follow up a conservative coded country song with a liberal coded country song. There are great country songs that empathize with the working class from artists across the political spectrum. Here’s one of them. Would it be better if the video had more than a few people of color in it? Yes. But the lyrics still rule, and the cadence when they sing “Pittttttts-buuuurrgh steelmillworkers” (really slow than really fast) is fun. Take it away Alabama. Let’s hear it for all those who are working a “40 Hour Week (For a Livin’).”

And I’m still behind on updating the Songs of the Week Playlist. I’ll get to it! I promise. But it’s here, on both Apple Music and Spotify.