A TOP FIVE LIST! AND A DISCUSSION! What actually makes a great neighbor?

The newsletter that isn't afraid to ask "hey, can I borrow an egg and a cup of sugar?"

Friends,

This will not surprise you, but I have neighborliness on the brain. I suspect that I’m not alone. Every day since the election, I’ve had at least one if not several conversations with people trying to figure out how to be better neighbors. I’ve heard about new neighborhood text chains, about feelings of relief when a neighborly entreaty is well-received, and questions about both the theory and practice of getting to know those strangers right next door to you.

A couple days ago, I had a particularly gratifying call with an old pal from one of my previous Barnraisers cohorts. She wanted to rally folks in her St. Louis neighborhood, but was nervous about not being able to articulate what, precisely, she was building. “Like, I think that I should have an idea beyond ‘we should probably know each other better because of the creeping fascism thing?’”

That’s a pretty good question, as it turns out, and so the two of us had a lot of fun brainstorming a bunch of stuff that we either love that our neighbors currently do for us or that we wish our neighbors did for us. I think we came up with a pretty great list! But still, we were only two people, so I thought for this week’s discussion, I’d expand our crowdsourcing to include all y’all.

How’s this going to go down? I mean, share whatever you’d like. It’s totally fine to just list off legitimately useful neighborly actions (“waking up early and shoveling everybody’s walk!” “coordinating a tool share library!” or “hosting languid, hazy parties that attract various LA countercultural icons, which you then write about with an equal mix of befuddlement and cool detachment,” though I suppose one of those is only applicable if you live next door to Joan Didion in the ‘60s) but it would also be fun if you have specific stories about an excellent neighbor doing a very rad thing.

If you’re new here, I always kick off our discussions with a top five list of my own. I’m going to veer more towards the storytelling aspect, because I’ve had some very good neighbors in my day.

GOOD NEIGHBOR THING #5: Delight children on Halloween

My first ever neighbor was a grizzled old prospector named Bunchy (editorial note: I don’t mean any offense in calling Bunchy “grizzled”— it’s just that I am required by rhetorical law to refer to any former miner named “Bunchy” as being grizzled). This was when my family lived outside Clancy, Montana. Bunch was our only neighbor for miles, which means that there was a lot riding on him being a good dude. Fortunately, Bunchy didn’t disappoint. For one thing, he had a snowplow on his truck and always did our drive without being asked. For my five-year-old purposes, though, Bunchy’s greatest gift was PUTTING ON A SHOW FOR TRICK OR TREATERS, by which I mean us. My siblings and I were Bunchy’s only trick or treaters. And yet, without fail, Bunchy always had a big bowl of candy and a mask that was slightly-but-not-too-scary and he’d jump out and surprise us when we’d knock on his door and it was the best.

I currently live a few blocks away from some all-time great Halloween celebrators— well-decorated houses, beers for the grown-ups, a big cauldron in the middle of the street with witches who dance around it. My kids are so grateful. I’m so grateful. A neighborhood of Bunchys. Who could ask for anything more?

GOOD NEIGHBOR THING #4: Leave baked goods on doorsteps for no reason in particular

My friends, I’m talking lemon bars. I’m talking banana bread. I’m talking chocolate chip cookies, ideally soft chocolate chip cookies. I’m talking paper plates covered in aluminum foil and a post-it note that says “CONTAINS NUTS!” Am I talking an entire pie? I don’t know if I’ve ever exchanged an entire pie with a neighbor, but I’m extremely open to it. Is that what people mean when they talk about beloved community? Probably.

GOOD NEIGHBOR THING #3 Convert the former viewing room of the funeral home that is now your house into a “watch party room” with eight (8!) La-Z-Boys arranged in a semi-circle around a big screen TV. Once that step is complete, give your neighbors a standing invitation to come over whenever the Packers or Brewers games are on to drink Miller Lite and eat lemon bars (see #4) and hang out.

I assume this is a universal experience to which all of us can easily relate, so no need to go into more detail.

But in case you assume I mean any of this metaphorically, I really do live next to a converted funeral home (an experience I recommend! surprisingly!), and my current neighbors are amazing, but nobody will ever match the previous residents.