Garrett my friend, this was such a nice read. I hear you, I'm glad to know you, and I appreciate all I'm learning from you and the folks in this community you're fostering.
Also--and I hope this isn't obnoxious to do it in a comment--I noticed a glaring typo in your end note. It should say that *oldest* siblings are blameless and I await your correction!
The first half of your comment was so kind that it pains me to do it, but of course after your last sentence I'll have to ban you permanently in solidarity with younger siblings everywhere. I don't make the rules.😂
I really appreciate this one Bucks. Another layer of this is which kinds of “see me! see me!” the gatekeepers of various media outlets and/or our social algorithms value and promote. My experience of more traditional writing, like op-eds and books, is that I’m essentially forced to say “See me. I’m sure about something.” Writing for substack is like saying “See me? Feel me?” because I can have a hunch and write it thru rather than pitching some super sure and theoretically unique argument or idea. And, of course, deeeepppppllllly relate to the little sibling role of being schooled on music and all that is cool.
That makes me think of conversations we've had about publishing/editors/etc. There is both the variable or your need to prove yourself and be validated as a writer and a whole separate self-conscious inner monologue on the editor/publication's part.
I heard you, Garrett, in that lovely post of yours. I think I am just a wee bit younger than your brother Eric. I hope I have been an Eric to many others, since (and even, to my younger siblings, though most don't send me many e-mails).
And Friendster!!! I was trying to come up with that name a few weeks ago! I never used it, but the students at the tribal college I taught at had talked about it a lot!
I’m a bit older than your brother, but, I have a little sister 10 years younger than me, who I like to think I helped shape in this way. I am the oldest of 5.
We actually went to college at the same time, and I convinced her to change her major from business to sociology while we were in Native Studies together! (I was an English major). She was hating the grind of the business school and still had a year left before she could even officially enter the school of business.
I have a lot of problems with the systems and the whole white male issue, but, I see you! You ARE one of the good ones and one who is fighting for change and equality and all the good things. We need white males doing this!
I am the middle of 3 sisters, all 5 years apart, so my sisters had a 10-year gap that meant they didn’t really know each other when we were kids. But they became really close as my little sister started college. There is definitely shaping in this bigger age gaps! Maybe even more than the closer ones. 🧡
I think so! It’s funny because there are 5 years between me and my older younger sister, 5 between the two sisters, and then 5 years between the two brothers. The youngest brother and sister are super close (but in a regular peer/sibling way because they are 15 mos apart in age and had the same group of friends) and then the other two are close for the same reasons - I think they are like 16 mos apart 😂
I read a great article a long time ago about how siblings don't really grow up in the same families. And realized it's true, the families change and become new things over time and as different kids are different ages, and so are the parents. And then there's my husband, who's an only child. It's all so interesting!
Yes!! This is so accurate! Also with divorce, and possibly remarriage… My mother transformed several times lol (and remarried a few times as well). And I know I have changed as a parent after my divorce.
My mom used to tell people how I always wished I was an only child (🤣🤣🤣 of course now I would never wish that), and she would tell me that only children wished for siblings. Then we met my youngest brother’s high school sweetheart (now wife) and she was an only child and never wished for siblings Hahahahaha!!
That's so true -- my parents definitely both changed after they got divorced!
My husband never seemed to have wished for siblings; he and his parents were always very close, though. I, on the other hand, used to ask my parents for a twin brother for my birthday!
Love you, Garrett. Also there's no such thing as too much arm waving while talking. <3
That's all the affirmation/encouragement I need to keep those limbs a flailing!
Garrett my friend, this was such a nice read. I hear you, I'm glad to know you, and I appreciate all I'm learning from you and the folks in this community you're fostering.
Also--and I hope this isn't obnoxious to do it in a comment--I noticed a glaring typo in your end note. It should say that *oldest* siblings are blameless and I await your correction!
The first half of your comment was so kind that it pains me to do it, but of course after your last sentence I'll have to ban you permanently in solidarity with younger siblings everywhere. I don't make the rules.😂
I really appreciate this one Bucks. Another layer of this is which kinds of “see me! see me!” the gatekeepers of various media outlets and/or our social algorithms value and promote. My experience of more traditional writing, like op-eds and books, is that I’m essentially forced to say “See me. I’m sure about something.” Writing for substack is like saying “See me? Feel me?” because I can have a hunch and write it thru rather than pitching some super sure and theoretically unique argument or idea. And, of course, deeeepppppllllly relate to the little sibling role of being schooled on music and all that is cool.
That makes me think of conversations we've had about publishing/editors/etc. There is both the variable or your need to prove yourself and be validated as a writer and a whole separate self-conscious inner monologue on the editor/publication's part.
I heard you, Garrett, in that lovely post of yours. I think I am just a wee bit younger than your brother Eric. I hope I have been an Eric to many others, since (and even, to my younger siblings, though most don't send me many e-mails).
This out of love (you will recognize the place, and I think you younger folks have summat in common): https://catvalente.substack.com/p/stop-talking-to-each-other-and-start
I hadn't read that yet and it really resonated! Thank you!
This was wonderful!
And Friendster!!! I was trying to come up with that name a few weeks ago! I never used it, but the students at the tribal college I taught at had talked about it a lot!
I’m a bit older than your brother, but, I have a little sister 10 years younger than me, who I like to think I helped shape in this way. I am the oldest of 5.
We actually went to college at the same time, and I convinced her to change her major from business to sociology while we were in Native Studies together! (I was an English major). She was hating the grind of the business school and still had a year left before she could even officially enter the school of business.
I have a lot of problems with the systems and the whole white male issue, but, I see you! You ARE one of the good ones and one who is fighting for change and equality and all the good things. We need white males doing this!
I am the middle of 3 sisters, all 5 years apart, so my sisters had a 10-year gap that meant they didn’t really know each other when we were kids. But they became really close as my little sister started college. There is definitely shaping in this bigger age gaps! Maybe even more than the closer ones. 🧡
I think so! It’s funny because there are 5 years between me and my older younger sister, 5 between the two sisters, and then 5 years between the two brothers. The youngest brother and sister are super close (but in a regular peer/sibling way because they are 15 mos apart in age and had the same group of friends) and then the other two are close for the same reasons - I think they are like 16 mos apart 😂
I read a great article a long time ago about how siblings don't really grow up in the same families. And realized it's true, the families change and become new things over time and as different kids are different ages, and so are the parents. And then there's my husband, who's an only child. It's all so interesting!
Yes!! This is so accurate! Also with divorce, and possibly remarriage… My mother transformed several times lol (and remarried a few times as well). And I know I have changed as a parent after my divorce.
My mom used to tell people how I always wished I was an only child (🤣🤣🤣 of course now I would never wish that), and she would tell me that only children wished for siblings. Then we met my youngest brother’s high school sweetheart (now wife) and she was an only child and never wished for siblings Hahahahaha!!
That's so true -- my parents definitely both changed after they got divorced!
My husband never seemed to have wished for siblings; he and his parents were always very close, though. I, on the other hand, used to ask my parents for a twin brother for my birthday!
Hahahaha!! That’s so funny!