Publishing a book was nothing like giving birth for me (I've done both!) and I've never quite understood that metaphor as it relates to writing. What it's like for me -- what all writing is like -- is like swimming in a wonderful, quiet, cool-watered mountain lake surrounded by forest. Every now and then you get the most beautiful day where you're out there early and get to spend the entire day until stars come out and the sun is exactly the right level of hot and everyone is happy and you swim and swim and swim and are wonderfully tired and satisfied and saturated with life-ness at the end of it, and then you see a shooting star and go to sleep happy. And then the next day you wake up with a bit of a sunburn and slightly grumpy for exactly no reason at all and it's cloudy and you don't like the snacks you brought and someone races their JetSki too close to the swimming area and you wonder why you bother with all this. Then you jump in the water again and for a few minutes remember exactly why.
And probably everybody has their own individual metaphor that works for them the way that swimming does for me. 💖 Looking forward to my copy -- I've been hearing good things!
That is perfect! Both about growing a baby AND about writing a book: "You have to keep believing that the thing you’re making is worth making." Exactly, every single day.
(Also I came down with a very rare condition in my first pregnancy and almost died and both my kids were C-sections -- this whole thing falls apart every single way you look at it.)
What an exquisite, visceral metaphor! I can picture every single clause so vividly, and yes, that rings true. Nia, have you considered a career as a writer, lol? You got bars!
(I've had that metaphor floating in my head for over 20 years. I took a class in my MFA program called Psychoanalysis & Creativity that was very, very weird and interesting -- we read a lot of Freud and not enough Jung and I had the most bizarre dreams that semester -- and another student was adamant that writing was like giving birth, and my immediate thought when she read something she'd written describing it that way [though not a single person in that class had ever given birth] was that it was far more like swimming for me.)
Sometime next month I'll get a text from my local independent bookstore that the copy I ordered a few months ago has come in, and it'll be like getting a gift from my past self!
Now, as someone who works with authors for a living and counts many authors, including ones with multiple NYT bestsellers to their credit, as my friends, the #1 piece of advice I can give you is STAY AWAY FROM GOODREADS. Simply forget it exists. If someone asks you, "Did you see that review on Goodr—" interrupt them before they can get any further. That site is toxic.
Holy cow!!!! I hadn't seen that, but coincidentally, I read another piece by Emily Gould yesterday in which she mentioned another author with a less-than-supportive husband:
Splinters: Another Kind of Love Story, by Leslie Jamison, is in some ways the successor to Aftermath — the latest divorce book by a literary superstar. It is mostly an account of Jamison’s passionate marriage to a fellow writer, C., and the way that marriage fell apart after her career accelerated and they had a child together. It then details her first months of life as a single mother and her forays into dating. In it, she is strenuously fair to C., taking much of the blame for the dissolution of their marriage. But she can’t avoid describing his anger that her book merits an extensive tour, while his novel — based on his relationship with his first wife, who had died of leukemia — fails commercially. “It didn’t get the reception he had hoped for,” Jamison writes, and now, “I could feel him struggling. He wanted to support me, but there was a thorn in every interview.” C. grows distant, refusing to publicly perform the charming self that Jamison fell in love with. “I wished there was a way to say, Your work matters, that didn’t involve muting my own,” Jamison writes.
"At least they’re organizing, I tell myself. Maybe they got something out of the book after all." LOL-ed on this one. I resonate with this post so very much. I'm so glad you got this gift and the world gets this gift. You are a gift. GIFTS ALL AROUND!
Cannot wait for your book!! I wasn't able to make the date for the Advanced Reader Club (was super bummed!), but I had already pre-ordered your book and truly cannot wait to have it in my hands!
Congratulations! 🎉 I’m excited to get my copy. I enjoyed the honesty and humility of this post, Garrett. I thought to myself, “I’ve enjoyed everything you’ve written here; there’s no way this book isn’t going to be a damn good read.” I stand by that. You write with such clear authenticity. All good things!
Publishing a book was nothing like giving birth for me (I've done both!) and I've never quite understood that metaphor as it relates to writing. What it's like for me -- what all writing is like -- is like swimming in a wonderful, quiet, cool-watered mountain lake surrounded by forest. Every now and then you get the most beautiful day where you're out there early and get to spend the entire day until stars come out and the sun is exactly the right level of hot and everyone is happy and you swim and swim and swim and are wonderfully tired and satisfied and saturated with life-ness at the end of it, and then you see a shooting star and go to sleep happy. And then the next day you wake up with a bit of a sunburn and slightly grumpy for exactly no reason at all and it's cloudy and you don't like the snacks you brought and someone races their JetSki too close to the swimming area and you wonder why you bother with all this. Then you jump in the water again and for a few minutes remember exactly why.
And probably everybody has their own individual metaphor that works for them the way that swimming does for me. 💖 Looking forward to my copy -- I've been hearing good things!
Could not agree more. https://courtney.substack.com/p/writing-a-book-is-not-like-having
That is perfect! Both about growing a baby AND about writing a book: "You have to keep believing that the thing you’re making is worth making." Exactly, every single day.
(Also I came down with a very rare condition in my first pregnancy and almost died and both my kids were C-sections -- this whole thing falls apart every single way you look at it.)
I remember that piece so well!!!
What an exquisite, visceral metaphor! I can picture every single clause so vividly, and yes, that rings true. Nia, have you considered a career as a writer, lol? You got bars!
I've thought about it but it doesn't pay much. 🤣
(I've had that metaphor floating in my head for over 20 years. I took a class in my MFA program called Psychoanalysis & Creativity that was very, very weird and interesting -- we read a lot of Freud and not enough Jung and I had the most bizarre dreams that semester -- and another student was adamant that writing was like giving birth, and my immediate thought when she read something she'd written describing it that way [though not a single person in that class had ever given birth] was that it was far more like swimming for me.)
It's a very omnipresent metaphor and I've been surprised the number of times I've heard it repeated as fact by somebody who has not given birth!
Re: not enough Jung, I'm realizing I've lived my life without enough Jung (Satya Doyle Byock's newsletter is increasingly Jung-pilling me).
Ooh. Being Jung-pilled is so much better when it's not Jordan Peterson or his followers pseudo-doing it via mangled Joseph Campbell lessons!
Yeah, writing a book as giving birth is everywhere. I think in a way it's a difference of perspective about what writing does and what it's for.
To be very clear, I have no desire to be Jung-pilled by anybody other than Satya.
🧘♂️
Pre-ordered!!
thank you, thank you, thank you
Sometime next month I'll get a text from my local independent bookstore that the copy I ordered a few months ago has come in, and it'll be like getting a gift from my past self!
Now, as someone who works with authors for a living and counts many authors, including ones with multiple NYT bestsellers to their credit, as my friends, the #1 piece of advice I can give you is STAY AWAY FROM GOODREADS. Simply forget it exists. If someone asks you, "Did you see that review on Goodr—" interrupt them before they can get any further. That site is toxic.
Amazing advice, which I'm actively trying to follow (to wit, in a better than average moment of forethought, I copied that Goodreads link to a separate google doc so that I can paste it in for situations like this without having to physically go there and look at the site). Speaking of which, did you see this?https://www.thecut.com/article/going-through-it-advice-husband-goodreads-reviews.html?origSession=D230830VmLLQlwJySv0FKddPI%2FIW0rlEnoCZKL72hdunA%2FpIs4%3D&_gl=1*1kwk7ee*_ga*MTE3NzU5NTA0NS4xNjkxNTE4Mzgy*_ga_DNE38RK1HX*MTcwODUzODE3MS40NC4wLjE3MDg1MzgxNzEuNjAuMC4w#_ga=2.245848514.777298297.1708538170-1177595045.1691518382
Holy cow!!!! I hadn't seen that, but coincidentally, I read another piece by Emily Gould yesterday in which she mentioned another author with a less-than-supportive husband:
Splinters: Another Kind of Love Story, by Leslie Jamison, is in some ways the successor to Aftermath — the latest divorce book by a literary superstar. It is mostly an account of Jamison’s passionate marriage to a fellow writer, C., and the way that marriage fell apart after her career accelerated and they had a child together. It then details her first months of life as a single mother and her forays into dating. In it, she is strenuously fair to C., taking much of the blame for the dissolution of their marriage. But she can’t avoid describing his anger that her book merits an extensive tour, while his novel — based on his relationship with his first wife, who had died of leukemia — fails commercially. “It didn’t get the reception he had hoped for,” Jamison writes, and now, “I could feel him struggling. He wanted to support me, but there was a thorn in every interview.” C. grows distant, refusing to publicly perform the charming self that Jamison fell in love with. “I wished there was a way to say, Your work matters, that didn’t involve muting my own,” Jamison writes.
"At least they’re organizing, I tell myself. Maybe they got something out of the book after all." LOL-ed on this one. I resonate with this post so very much. I'm so glad you got this gift and the world gets this gift. You are a gift. GIFTS ALL AROUND!
Listen, I'd be sad but also impressed! Good job, all!
Cannot wait for your book!! I wasn't able to make the date for the Advanced Reader Club (was super bummed!), but I had already pre-ordered your book and truly cannot wait to have it in my hands!
That was a really fun night (the advance readers club) but I can't wait to be able to hear your thoughts whenever the book comes your way!
Congratulations! 🎉 I’m excited to get my copy. I enjoyed the honesty and humility of this post, Garrett. I thought to myself, “I’ve enjoyed everything you’ve written here; there’s no way this book isn’t going to be a damn good read.” I stand by that. You write with such clear authenticity. All good things!
Ahhh! Thank you Amy. This really means a lot.
Excited for this Garrett!