I have so many thoughts on this, wowzer. Living in a cohousing community has taught me more about all of these questions than anything else in my entire life. I'm with a group of people who are a wide range of ages, professions, political affiliations, religious identities, and to some extent, racial backgrounds. It was founded as a Christian community, and though it's now interfaith, those roots feels so strong and special to learn from. You show up. You keep showing up. You hang in when you make each other so mad and disagree about things. Sometimes at a painful, acute level. And then there are seasons of easy joy and collaboration. Lots of that. An obscene amount. The key, I've realized, is the longterm investment and the assumption of inherent worthiness. No one has to earn their place in our community and can't really fail their way out (or at least that's VERY hard to imagine.) It doesn't matter if you "like" someone; it only matters if you love them. In some ways, I've learned, it's easier to love people than to like them. It's so weird. And so counter to everything white supremacy and capitalism and patriarchy teach us. FWIW, not that I've figured it all out. I've just been blessed with a serious great classroom with veteran, patient educators.
This is a killer list. "Gifts rather than obligations" - hoo boy. Also, if that was a Taylor Swift-fan dog whistle, I heard it! Me to America: "you stabbed my back while shaking my hand..."
I have so many thoughts on this, wowzer. Living in a cohousing community has taught me more about all of these questions than anything else in my entire life. I'm with a group of people who are a wide range of ages, professions, political affiliations, religious identities, and to some extent, racial backgrounds. It was founded as a Christian community, and though it's now interfaith, those roots feels so strong and special to learn from. You show up. You keep showing up. You hang in when you make each other so mad and disagree about things. Sometimes at a painful, acute level. And then there are seasons of easy joy and collaboration. Lots of that. An obscene amount. The key, I've realized, is the longterm investment and the assumption of inherent worthiness. No one has to earn their place in our community and can't really fail their way out (or at least that's VERY hard to imagine.) It doesn't matter if you "like" someone; it only matters if you love them. In some ways, I've learned, it's easier to love people than to like them. It's so weird. And so counter to everything white supremacy and capitalism and patriarchy teach us. FWIW, not that I've figured it all out. I've just been blessed with a serious great classroom with veteran, patient educators.
This is a killer list. "Gifts rather than obligations" - hoo boy. Also, if that was a Taylor Swift-fan dog whistle, I heard it! Me to America: "you stabbed my back while shaking my hand..."