We are missing the non-snarky* category of "a baby has been born and that's pretty awesome and what if we did peace on earth and goodwill to all". Exemplars are basically any version of "Do You Hear What I Hear", Smokey Robinson's "Peace on Earth", and I'm oddly partial to Casting Crown's version of "I Heard The Bells On Christmas Day".
Even, like, "God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen" – you can hear it as being "whoa! son of god born down there", but I just sorta blur my ears and hear "we're celebrating the birth of a child, as all children's births should be celebrated".
* do not take this as a critique! I am a professional taxonomist and love nothing more than a snarky taxonomy!
Oh interesting! I definitely would have collapsed those into narrow "we are celebrating the specific birth of Jesus, that one baby" songs. I love the idea that some of them could be considered "we are celebrating ALL babies." Look what I learn from professional taxonomists!
I was VERY young when I decided "look Jesus seems like a good dude but I'm pretty sure he was just a dude". So even though I learned all those songs in a vaguely-Catholic setting, I also heard them through my simple lens of "we're celebrating that this Good Dude was born" rather than with a whole SON-OF-GOD weightiness.
I don’t know if this is, ahem, “universal”, but when I was growing up, every Christmas service at Cedar Lane UU Church started with the words “Each night a child is born is a holy night”
Since my theology lines up around “we are all incarnations of the divine, and Jesus just knew how to talk about it,” this fits pretty well for me, too. Now I have a better understanding of why some religious Christmas songs land better to me than others.
Xmas shoes has got to be in there! Good Gravy that awful song. (There's also the direct opposite category full of the magnificat and Christina Rossetti, and transcendent is a great word for those!)
Yes, but did you know there is a follow up song by the same artist called “Grandpa’s gonna sue the pants off of Santa”? I feel like that undermines the all-powerful theme.
I'm so happy to have found someone else who shares my passion for "John Denver and the Muppets: A Christmas Together". I love the story of the composing of Stille Nacht and that of Alfie the Christmas Tree.
Are there any Christmas songs that make you immediately change the station? For me it is BandAid's "Do They Know it's Christmas?" Nearly every line is cringe-worthy.
Oooh great question! I can't do "Baby It's Cold Outside" (and I decided not even to contribute to "Baby It's Cold Outside" discourse in this space)... as for "Do They Know It's Christmas?" damnit how did I miss the opportunity to include a category called: "Do you know who can save Africa? Us, Bob Geldof, Sting, and Bono"
I've always been amused by the recurring line in “Little Saint Nick" that "Christmas comes this time each year" (thank you Captain Obvious!) but had an interaction with my cis-het white man spouse recently that made me wonder whether some people DO need to be reminded that yes, this holiday comes this time *every* year. 😂
2. I also adore the John Denver/Muppets Christmas album. As a kid, we had this on vinyl, and the record had a major scratch on one of the last songs. Every time we listened to John Denver tell the story of "Silent Night," the track skipped repeatedly when he got to the part where "He asked Mr Gruber..." I finally figured out the rest of that story when I got my own, non-scratched copy of the album as an adult.
3. For the category of "family and relationships," may I humbly submit Track 5 of Vol. III from Sufjan Stevens' epic Christmas collection: "That Was the Worst Christmas Ever!" Representative lyrics: "Our father yelled / throwing the gifts in the woodstove."
Our was on cassette, so while I learned how the story ended, I didn't get the magic of the cliffhanger!
There's also no good reason, given my preferences and proclivities more generally, for why I've spent so little time with the Sufjan Christmas album. I know!
But what about the truly terrible/fascinating "Dominick the Christmas Donkey"? https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dominick_the_Donkey I guess he goes under "Santa is all powerful" but also he needs help sometimes? Maybe Rudolph goes in this category too?
Suggested addition to the Christmastime-is-great category: "Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays" by N*Sync. Perfect vibes, brilliant lyrics (e.g. "everything's ok"), unhinged video, I legit love it. I think it also nicely captures the "we want to be people who say that everyone is welcome, but obviously we are going to center Christmas and Christianity" sentiment that is still perfectly relevant even though the song is 25 years old(!).
Since you included the album cover, let's enjoy one of Thore Skogman's Christmas songs, "Julen är här," in which people eat so much Christmas food that it makes them sick (the doctor is working from sun-up to sunrise, dealing with all of those overeaters): https://youtu.be/-vpSP_P8lGU?si=A3wzyyAFUo4nTKYp
🎄 For the category of "going home means hooking up a an ex," I submit Taylor Swift's "tis the damn season."
🎄 And as for problematic social justice Christmas songs, I'd add In the Ghetto, Elvis (which I guess isn't actually a Christmas song but I always think it is ...maybe because of the emphasis on a baby being born?! - and just slot in Stevie Wonder, "Someday at Christmas" to replace all of them.
Completely forgot that Tis the Damn Season is a Christmas song!
Re: In The Ghetto (a song that fascinates me!), I'm now obsessed with the idea of songs that aren't explicitly set during Christmas but that we mentally associate with being set during Christmas. Gonna spend the rest of the day thinking about what would be on that list for me.
We are missing the non-snarky* category of "a baby has been born and that's pretty awesome and what if we did peace on earth and goodwill to all". Exemplars are basically any version of "Do You Hear What I Hear", Smokey Robinson's "Peace on Earth", and I'm oddly partial to Casting Crown's version of "I Heard The Bells On Christmas Day".
Even, like, "God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen" – you can hear it as being "whoa! son of god born down there", but I just sorta blur my ears and hear "we're celebrating the birth of a child, as all children's births should be celebrated".
* do not take this as a critique! I am a professional taxonomist and love nothing more than a snarky taxonomy!
Oh interesting! I definitely would have collapsed those into narrow "we are celebrating the specific birth of Jesus, that one baby" songs. I love the idea that some of them could be considered "we are celebrating ALL babies." Look what I learn from professional taxonomists!
I was VERY young when I decided "look Jesus seems like a good dude but I'm pretty sure he was just a dude". So even though I learned all those songs in a vaguely-Catholic setting, I also heard them through my simple lens of "we're celebrating that this Good Dude was born" rather than with a whole SON-OF-GOD weightiness.
I don’t know if this is, ahem, “universal”, but when I was growing up, every Christmas service at Cedar Lane UU Church started with the words “Each night a child is born is a holy night”
oh that's lovely
Found the whole poem! https://www.seafarerpress.com/works/for-so-the-children-come/
oh wow I love it
Since my theology lines up around “we are all incarnations of the divine, and Jesus just knew how to talk about it,” this fits pretty well for me, too. Now I have a better understanding of why some religious Christmas songs land better to me than others.
I LOVE THIS THEOLOGY, it is exactly what I believe but I had not framed it like this before!
There's also the weird awful theology category well represented by mansplaining the life of Jesus to his mom... YES SHE KNEW, UGH.
Wait, how am I forgetting this category???? What's it include???
I mean, “Mary did you know” is probably the star of this show.
Mary: "Um, I was there."
Xmas shoes has got to be in there! Good Gravy that awful song. (There's also the direct opposite category full of the magnificat and Christina Rossetti, and transcendent is a great word for those!)
Hard Candy Christmas deserves an honorable mention up there with Haggard's classic!
Oh that's a GREAT pull.
All I want to know is, where does Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer go?
Excellent question: 100% in the "Santa is all powerful and should be feared and revered" category (no way the reindicular assault was accidental)
I feel like there should be a special Christmas Booze category.
I just received an email with a rum-based recommendation in this category that I was not aware of
The fact that you can get entire Christmas albums presented as appropriate for cocktail lounges suggests this is an omission to correct in future.
Very, very fair note
I feel like there's an argument to be made for a Christmas Gluttony category as well. So many songs about candy and food.
This made me think of the 12 Drunk Days of Christmas! (Faye McKay)
Yes, but did you know there is a follow up song by the same artist called “Grandpa’s gonna sue the pants off of Santa”? I feel like that undermines the all-powerful theme.
Was not aware! Nobody, even the all powerful, are safe from American litigiousness.
I'm so happy to have found someone else who shares my passion for "John Denver and the Muppets: A Christmas Together". I love the story of the composing of Stille Nacht and that of Alfie the Christmas Tree.
Are there any Christmas songs that make you immediately change the station? For me it is BandAid's "Do They Know it's Christmas?" Nearly every line is cringe-worthy.
Oooh great question! I can't do "Baby It's Cold Outside" (and I decided not even to contribute to "Baby It's Cold Outside" discourse in this space)... as for "Do They Know It's Christmas?" damnit how did I miss the opportunity to include a category called: "Do you know who can save Africa? Us, Bob Geldof, Sting, and Bono"
"THANK GOD IT'S THEM, NOT YOU!!!" That's an actual thing that they sang!!!
Right?! Or how they refer to them as "the other ones" who live in a "world of dread and fear"! I can't even.....
Great song! No notes!
I've always been amused by the recurring line in “Little Saint Nick" that "Christmas comes this time each year" (thank you Captain Obvious!) but had an interaction with my cis-het white man spouse recently that made me wonder whether some people DO need to be reminded that yes, this holiday comes this time *every* year. 😂
That song quietly doing its part to lessen the invisible mental holiday awareness discrepancy in heterosexual partnerings! Heroic!
1. This list is delightful.
2. I also adore the John Denver/Muppets Christmas album. As a kid, we had this on vinyl, and the record had a major scratch on one of the last songs. Every time we listened to John Denver tell the story of "Silent Night," the track skipped repeatedly when he got to the part where "He asked Mr Gruber..." I finally figured out the rest of that story when I got my own, non-scratched copy of the album as an adult.
3. For the category of "family and relationships," may I humbly submit Track 5 of Vol. III from Sufjan Stevens' epic Christmas collection: "That Was the Worst Christmas Ever!" Representative lyrics: "Our father yelled / throwing the gifts in the woodstove."
Our was on cassette, so while I learned how the story ended, I didn't get the magic of the cliffhanger!
There's also no good reason, given my preferences and proclivities more generally, for why I've spent so little time with the Sufjan Christmas album. I know!
“Christmas in the Room” under the canopy of coming-of-age-loss-of-innocence-still-magic Christmas hymns ! (Sufjan.)
just listened for the first time-- a delight!
I don’t know this album, but isn’t Mr. (Hans) Gruber the name of the villain in Die Hard?
Ooh I highly recommend listening to John Denver tell the Silent Night story... it's on streaming!
I thought of that Sufjan song immediately as well! Great album(s).
But what about the truly terrible/fascinating "Dominick the Christmas Donkey"? https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dominick_the_Donkey I guess he goes under "Santa is all powerful" but also he needs help sometimes? Maybe Rudolph goes in this category too?
WHY WOULDN'T REINDEER BE ABLE TO CLIMB THE HILLS OF ITALY??? THE CENTRAL CONCEIT OF THE SONG MAKES NO SENSE!
Suggested addition to the Christmastime-is-great category: "Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays" by N*Sync. Perfect vibes, brilliant lyrics (e.g. "everything's ok"), unhinged video, I legit love it. I think it also nicely captures the "we want to be people who say that everyone is welcome, but obviously we are going to center Christmas and Christianity" sentiment that is still perfectly relevant even though the song is 25 years old(!).
You had me at "unhinged video," will check out immediately.
cw for terrible depiction of people who are utilizing a soup kitchen
Kudos on the Merle Haggard inclusion. 🙂
Since you included the album cover, let's enjoy one of Thore Skogman's Christmas songs, "Julen är här," in which people eat so much Christmas food that it makes them sick (the doctor is working from sun-up to sunrise, dealing with all of those overeaters): https://youtu.be/-vpSP_P8lGU?si=A3wzyyAFUo4nTKYp
Thore is the only one brave enough to tackle the real issues
It makes sense that the raw erotic power of Santa is why seltzer magnate Michael Bublé had to swing so far in the no-homo direction with his cover: https://genius.com/Michael-buble-santa-baby-lyrics
Michael, my guy, STEP AWAY FROM SHAME! IT'S OK TO ADMIT THAT SANTA IS HOT!
Speaking of Santa’s raw erotic power, is there any other read on this ad?
https://youtu.be/4y-u_h12h24
I was not aware of sexy-disco-credit-card-using Santa but I AM COMPELLED
🎄 For the category of "going home means hooking up a an ex," I submit Taylor Swift's "tis the damn season."
🎄 And as for problematic social justice Christmas songs, I'd add In the Ghetto, Elvis (which I guess isn't actually a Christmas song but I always think it is ...maybe because of the emphasis on a baby being born?! - and just slot in Stevie Wonder, "Someday at Christmas" to replace all of them.
Completely forgot that Tis the Damn Season is a Christmas song!
Re: In The Ghetto (a song that fascinates me!), I'm now obsessed with the idea of songs that aren't explicitly set during Christmas but that we mentally associate with being set during Christmas. Gonna spend the rest of the day thinking about what would be on that list for me.
My husband’s family has a Hawaiian album with the song “Lady in Red” and I just love the idea that this song is actually about Mrs. Claus 🤶
This belief is now canon. Mrs. Claus IS the lady in red.
I will maintain until my dying day that Joni Mitchell’s ‘River’ is NOT a Christmas song, but I have seen it on a few Christmas playlists.
Ooh, what's your argument against it being a Christmas song?