Love this one so much, thanks Bucks. You have moved into my head and heart and reminded me to pause in all of my spiky guard rail moments. What a pain in the ass. What a gift.
“It’s that that living in a culture of situational care, of deeply conditional love, of spiky guard rails on who is or isn’t your neighbor has left us all with a deeply atrophied imagination of what a culture of love actually looks like.” ❤️
I think your thoughts about white people being responsible for changing the attitudes of white people are exactly what needs to happen. But I don't see how I can do anything about it. I live in a semi-rural community in a western state; it is 95% white and almost 70% Republican. I was forced to retire (math instructor) because of disability, a disability that doesn't keep me in bed all day but it does restrict travel or hours of standing or protesting or sitting in a meeting. I used to have a cadre of friends but most have dropped away or moved or were from the church I no longer attend. Progressives here are pilloried in Letters to the Editor and at public events. Our one Black Lives Matter protest was not approved by the police, the organizers (many from the reservation that is 20 miles away) kept us in a park and levee path on the riverbank. The police were visible on a road that runs on a bluff above the river, watching us with binoculars. Pickups drove by flying Blue Line and Don't Treat on Me flags. In the downtown area, there was a flock of gun owners, armed with rifles, handguns, and semi-automatic weapons, talking to police, claiming that they were there to keep Antifa away. I know that many of the people I see in the grocery store (almost none wearing masks) are carrying. I feel like signing up for one of your trainings would be futile, even though I sorely wish I could contribute to changing the tide.
Hey Laura-- First off, just want to send love and solidarity. I can only imagine how exhausting and terrifying it is to feel and experience that level of hostility. And you're absolutely right-- organizing for justice in conservative communities is deeply difficult, often Sisyphean work- with both steps forward and backwards. If you ever want to talk (not even about organizing, just about the feeling of being ideologically outnumbered) I'm totally down for it. I appreciate all the ways you're witnessing for a better world in a difficult place to do it.
This week, I've gotten kind of obsessed with a Reddit community called HermanCainAward -- the entire subreddit is devoted to posts about people who have died of COVID. First, we see several screenshots of one person's cruel social media shitposting: racist memes, conspiracy theories, lies about the vaccine, etc. Then we see a final screenshot posted by a friend or relative announcing that the person has died, usually noting that he or she was a wonderful spouse and parent, beloved in the community, and always ready with a helping hand. I've been so baffled by how these "decent, caring" folks can also be quick to share misinformation and proudly affirm their racism and ignorance, but your article today really helped me understand this phenomenon a bit more -- it is "deeply conditional love." Thank you for that.
I very much appreciated getting this in my inbox today, as I (like others) needed to read it. But a gentle request/reminder: women and nonbinary people are not the only ones that can get pregnant.
Thanks so much on both counts! Will change the language and upon re-reading can totally see my mistake now-- sorry for not catching it sooner but very much appreciate the gentle push.
Absolutely! It was so clear that your intention was to be inclusive so I appreciate you taking what I said in the spirit it was intended. I've been working hard to unlearn a lot of habits around classifying/grouping people (especially by gender) and what I've found works best for me is to ask myself if I need to specify at all. "People seeking abortions" works perfectly in this case and includes everybody! The best way to learn (and unlearn) is together so I'm always happy to share lessons I've learned.
Love this one so much, thanks Bucks. You have moved into my head and heart and reminded me to pause in all of my spiky guard rail moments. What a pain in the ass. What a gift.
thankyouandsorry!
“It’s that that living in a culture of situational care, of deeply conditional love, of spiky guard rails on who is or isn’t your neighbor has left us all with a deeply atrophied imagination of what a culture of love actually looks like.” ❤️
❤️❤️
Wow, this was what I needed to read today.
Thanks!
I think your thoughts about white people being responsible for changing the attitudes of white people are exactly what needs to happen. But I don't see how I can do anything about it. I live in a semi-rural community in a western state; it is 95% white and almost 70% Republican. I was forced to retire (math instructor) because of disability, a disability that doesn't keep me in bed all day but it does restrict travel or hours of standing or protesting or sitting in a meeting. I used to have a cadre of friends but most have dropped away or moved or were from the church I no longer attend. Progressives here are pilloried in Letters to the Editor and at public events. Our one Black Lives Matter protest was not approved by the police, the organizers (many from the reservation that is 20 miles away) kept us in a park and levee path on the riverbank. The police were visible on a road that runs on a bluff above the river, watching us with binoculars. Pickups drove by flying Blue Line and Don't Treat on Me flags. In the downtown area, there was a flock of gun owners, armed with rifles, handguns, and semi-automatic weapons, talking to police, claiming that they were there to keep Antifa away. I know that many of the people I see in the grocery store (almost none wearing masks) are carrying. I feel like signing up for one of your trainings would be futile, even though I sorely wish I could contribute to changing the tide.
Hey Laura-- First off, just want to send love and solidarity. I can only imagine how exhausting and terrifying it is to feel and experience that level of hostility. And you're absolutely right-- organizing for justice in conservative communities is deeply difficult, often Sisyphean work- with both steps forward and backwards. If you ever want to talk (not even about organizing, just about the feeling of being ideologically outnumbered) I'm totally down for it. I appreciate all the ways you're witnessing for a better world in a difficult place to do it.
This week, I've gotten kind of obsessed with a Reddit community called HermanCainAward -- the entire subreddit is devoted to posts about people who have died of COVID. First, we see several screenshots of one person's cruel social media shitposting: racist memes, conspiracy theories, lies about the vaccine, etc. Then we see a final screenshot posted by a friend or relative announcing that the person has died, usually noting that he or she was a wonderful spouse and parent, beloved in the community, and always ready with a helping hand. I've been so baffled by how these "decent, caring" folks can also be quick to share misinformation and proudly affirm their racism and ignorance, but your article today really helped me understand this phenomenon a bit more -- it is "deeply conditional love." Thank you for that.
We are all capable of deep decency and caring and we are also all capable of intense cruelty and harm, aren't we?
I very much appreciated getting this in my inbox today, as I (like others) needed to read it. But a gentle request/reminder: women and nonbinary people are not the only ones that can get pregnant.
Thanks so much on both counts! Will change the language and upon re-reading can totally see my mistake now-- sorry for not catching it sooner but very much appreciate the gentle push.
Absolutely! It was so clear that your intention was to be inclusive so I appreciate you taking what I said in the spirit it was intended. I've been working hard to unlearn a lot of habits around classifying/grouping people (especially by gender) and what I've found works best for me is to ask myself if I need to specify at all. "People seeking abortions" works perfectly in this case and includes everybody! The best way to learn (and unlearn) is together so I'm always happy to share lessons I've learned.
❤️❤️