21 Comments
Nov 10, 2020Liked by Garrett Bucks

One thing I'm learning in these past couple of months is how much my closest ones (who are white, yep, and I'm talking specifically about those who are not already committed to justice and equity) just *don't want to talk about it.*

Talking about what we want from our shared future, talking about policy, talking about leadership, have always felt important to me. But as I've become more informed and impassioned, especially in this last year, the closest ones I'm referring to have actively backed away. They stay present for conversations on the phone, but change the subject very quickly. They ignore almost all written invitations.

I am doing my best to stay invitational, leave space for them to talk, ask open questions. (I fail sometimes.) I keep most of my communication non-political (cat pics! the usual fun or necessary texts!) but I know they feel baffled and sometimes annoyed by the fact that I *ever* bring up social and community issues, and ask them to engage. It's shifting the tenor of these relationships.

I feel...mostly I feel disappointed. In them. In my inability to live up to my own ideals (see above.) In the fact that these relationships, which are important to me, apparently have to change. Sometimes I imagine what it would be like to give in, go back to thinking that if we don't talk about social and political issues, then they don't affect us. And to thinking that just thinking about ourselves is enough. I don't miss those days at all, not truly. Not knowing how much damage they did to all of us. I guess I'm saying I understand why so many white folks do miss that, and why they choose to look away again now.

I'll keep trying. Another thing I'm learning is how much time—unpredictable, unmeasurable time—change inside a person, or a family, or a nation, takes. I'll keep reminding myself this is a marathon. Thanks for the inspiration, Garrett.

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This is tremendous, Garrett, thank you. Exactly the pointers and specifics and reminders I needed to hear for planning going forward.

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Nov 12, 2020Liked by Garrett Bucks

I have read this piece three times and I think I need to read it again. So much to think about. I think the line that is sticking with me/convicting me the most is "Organizing isn’t yelling across a canyon asking people to join us, it’s helping them imagine how beautiful the other side must be and then figuring out how to build the bridge together." You are giving me some hope.

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Don't know if you've ever read this before, but it's an historical longform essay on similar themes to the LARB review you linked to: http://www.stirjournal.com/2016/04/01/i-know-why-poor-whites-chant-trump-trump-trump/

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