I fired my therapist yesterday. I promise you that is relevant. We were talking about Gaza. She told me she sees no evil on either side. I sat back and thought, I’m glad you’ve never met it. I had the same exact thought reading this. And I don’t say this in a tone of voice to call you out at all, especially since you called yourself out. Reading this, all I could see was a face of a person who is still free after everything they did to me, and hell, the worst of what they did to my soul isn’t even prosecutable. (I’m also in a couple more buckets of people losing rights right and left ) I’m good now, not ever the same, but doing well. Two of the ways that I’m not ever the same as my bone deep certainty in the sanctity of human life that they tried to take for me and couldn’t, and my bone deep certainty in the evil of humanity. I very much see evil on both sides of Gaza (which is absolutely not to imply that it’s most people there, both sides are equal, equivalent, undeserving of life and safety!) But it has a particular tone, a relishing of depravity, a hidden or not so hidden smile. What would make it easier to believe in a peaceful world? I don’t have an answer except to the question of why it’s hard. I know, viscerally, the answer to that, the face of humanity who is incapable of it. And I sincerely hope the vast majority of people never get personal experience with it. I also understand the impulse to do worse to the people who harmed you, and it’s futility. I also know that behind evil’s smile, there’s a bucket load of trauma too, and how little that matters when trying to stop them. But prison and bombs don’t stop them either. I’ve been sitting here for five minutes trying to think of a sentence to be like, and that’s why we should: There’s nothing here on the other side of the colon, except that, while I truly madly deeply love the impulse of good, decent people to believe everyone else can and will act the same given the chance, until we have a better answer for the part of humanity who never will beyond bombs and prison, that world will never be possible.
I want to make sure I don't offer a trite answer back, because it really was such a gift to have you take me up on a personal answer to the question "why it's so hard?" This resonates deeply, especially the part about how it's so hard to imagine alternatives to the bombs and prisons.
I want to say that this resonates so deeply for me and I appreciate your giving it words. “But it has a particular tone, a relishing of depravity, a hidden or not so hidden smile.”
Dec 6, 2023·edited Dec 6, 2023Liked by Garrett Bucks
Like you, I've been thinking about the war. The underlying motivation for the creation of the state of Israel, as near as I can understand, wasn't initially some deep desire to create an ethno-religious state due to any feelings of religious superiority or supremacy. It was because Jews felt unsafe, and were, in fact, demonstrably unsafe. Not just during the time of the second world war, but for many thousands of years before that in many, many places.
Leaving aside the motivations of evangelical Christians in supporting the creation of the state of Israel, it was literally thousands of years of religious persecution that birthed the war we're confronted with right now. I think this is really important to remember. Not because it justifies the actions being taken by the current Israeli government, but because it speaks to the answer to your question. If we're going to create a world in which no one is considered expendable then we must take concrete steps to ensure that everyone, no matter their race or religion or gender expression or sexual orientation or immigration status, etc., etc. is safe from violence and persecution. I'm sure none of the folks persecuting Jews a thousand years ago imagined the scale of war being waged by the state of Israel today. Similarly, we can't know what seeds we are planting with the persecutions and oppressions we permit today. The only thing we can know is that seeds left unplanted can't sprout.
Great piece, Garrett. What an important point you make about the machinations of both war and peace being a choice we make. Last week, we were all full of hope that the ceasefire and hostage/prisoner exchanges would continue until the whole nightmare was brought to an end. And then, just like that, it was over and violence started up again. It’s really unfathomable to think that there’s a better way here - that Israel and Hamas showed that it was possible - only to have it so cruelly yanked back.
I fired my therapist yesterday. I promise you that is relevant. We were talking about Gaza. She told me she sees no evil on either side. I sat back and thought, I’m glad you’ve never met it. I had the same exact thought reading this. And I don’t say this in a tone of voice to call you out at all, especially since you called yourself out. Reading this, all I could see was a face of a person who is still free after everything they did to me, and hell, the worst of what they did to my soul isn’t even prosecutable. (I’m also in a couple more buckets of people losing rights right and left ) I’m good now, not ever the same, but doing well. Two of the ways that I’m not ever the same as my bone deep certainty in the sanctity of human life that they tried to take for me and couldn’t, and my bone deep certainty in the evil of humanity. I very much see evil on both sides of Gaza (which is absolutely not to imply that it’s most people there, both sides are equal, equivalent, undeserving of life and safety!) But it has a particular tone, a relishing of depravity, a hidden or not so hidden smile. What would make it easier to believe in a peaceful world? I don’t have an answer except to the question of why it’s hard. I know, viscerally, the answer to that, the face of humanity who is incapable of it. And I sincerely hope the vast majority of people never get personal experience with it. I also understand the impulse to do worse to the people who harmed you, and it’s futility. I also know that behind evil’s smile, there’s a bucket load of trauma too, and how little that matters when trying to stop them. But prison and bombs don’t stop them either. I’ve been sitting here for five minutes trying to think of a sentence to be like, and that’s why we should: There’s nothing here on the other side of the colon, except that, while I truly madly deeply love the impulse of good, decent people to believe everyone else can and will act the same given the chance, until we have a better answer for the part of humanity who never will beyond bombs and prison, that world will never be possible.
I want to make sure I don't offer a trite answer back, because it really was such a gift to have you take me up on a personal answer to the question "why it's so hard?" This resonates deeply, especially the part about how it's so hard to imagine alternatives to the bombs and prisons.
I want to say that this resonates so deeply for me and I appreciate your giving it words. “But it has a particular tone, a relishing of depravity, a hidden or not so hidden smile.”
Like you, I've been thinking about the war. The underlying motivation for the creation of the state of Israel, as near as I can understand, wasn't initially some deep desire to create an ethno-religious state due to any feelings of religious superiority or supremacy. It was because Jews felt unsafe, and were, in fact, demonstrably unsafe. Not just during the time of the second world war, but for many thousands of years before that in many, many places.
Leaving aside the motivations of evangelical Christians in supporting the creation of the state of Israel, it was literally thousands of years of religious persecution that birthed the war we're confronted with right now. I think this is really important to remember. Not because it justifies the actions being taken by the current Israeli government, but because it speaks to the answer to your question. If we're going to create a world in which no one is considered expendable then we must take concrete steps to ensure that everyone, no matter their race or religion or gender expression or sexual orientation or immigration status, etc., etc. is safe from violence and persecution. I'm sure none of the folks persecuting Jews a thousand years ago imagined the scale of war being waged by the state of Israel today. Similarly, we can't know what seeds we are planting with the persecutions and oppressions we permit today. The only thing we can know is that seeds left unplanted can't sprout.
So powerfully put, Asha, "the only thing we can know is that seeds left unplanted can't sprout."
Great piece, Garrett. What an important point you make about the machinations of both war and peace being a choice we make. Last week, we were all full of hope that the ceasefire and hostage/prisoner exchanges would continue until the whole nightmare was brought to an end. And then, just like that, it was over and violence started up again. It’s really unfathomable to think that there’s a better way here - that Israel and Hamas showed that it was possible - only to have it so cruelly yanked back.
The whiplash has been hopelessness-making, for sure.